This morning, sitting around the breakfast table sucking down homemade blueberry-strawberry-banana-cranberry all fruit smoothies (is there anything better?) my family discovered a fun new pastime. It is a version of family feud, reincarnated as a lens into contemporary culture and its uses of search engines.
Most web browsers come with a built-in search bar that defaults to Google. Not only does it send your query to Google, but Google feeds you a list of suggestions as you type:
While inhaling our frozen berry gorgeousness (made with my all new ALL-Metal drive blender!) we decided to use Google’s search suggestions to play our own version of Family Feud. Here were some of our generic yet surprisingly hilarious and culturally insightful examples:







2 three or four foot long green stakes used to hold up young trees/plants


No Practice More Damning
There is no practice more damning to the reputation and cultural presence of concert music than the insistence that the future must still be dominated by the long-held looming and illusory belief in the precedents of a supposed tradition so thinly contrived to be composed of a long-standing aesthetic line of evolving conventions from the ancients to the present day; through the dry mouths of musical pharisees, principles are propagated as unquestionable givens—motive, idea, development—as if the now perverted propositions of supposed musical prophets are to be taken as truths unchanging that we are to bear the mantle of upholding. And all this merely veiling the all-too-pervasive fear of history’s cerebral bite and the scarce lack of vibrance and artistic creativity endemic to the academic discipline of composition.